Is it Paralyzing Anxiety… or Healthy Fear?
Wow this past 6 weeks I have heard more clients talking about their experiences of anxiety than ever before in the last 13+ years of practicing as a counsellor. And if I’m honest, I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety myself lately. What gives?
I could say a lot of normalizing things right now about September being full of transitions and changes to routines, schedules, etc with back to school in full blast. I could talk about how the change of seasons creates a shift for us. I could talk about how many things in the world are changing rapidly, we are being challenged in more ways than ever before in many ways.
And, all of that would be SO valid. But here’s the thing:
No matter WHERE your anxiety is coming from, or WHY it is showing up in the first place, you need to be able to manage it, right?
Normalization of a common feeling or experience isn’t so helpful. To clarify - I believe it is extremely validating to realize that you aren’t the only one who feels this way. This is very important to recognize! It helps so much to reduce feelings of shame that may be associated with any experience. So if you are feeling seen and validated right now as you are reading this because you now know that you are definitely not the only one who has been feeling more anxiety lately, that’s good. Breathe it in! You are absolutely not alone.
AND ALSO. Let’s not hang out here without doing anything about it, because that is not helpful for you or your kids, or anyone else! Remember that common DOES NOT = Normal. Common and Normal are two different things!
I want to encourage you to consider that this anxiety is showing up for a reason. Maybe it’s a really good reason. And maybe now is the time to explore that reason. But before you get caught up in an analysis of yourself and your experience of this emotion, you’ve gotta let yourself FEEL IT.
Yikes! I know, that might seem super scary, uncomfortable, and maybe even impossible. So take note of that discomfort too. Breathe into it, and don’t push yourself further than you can go in each moment. Anytime you find yourself faced with resistance from within yourself, it is so important to allow the resistance to be there and be curious about why it is there. Once we can assure all parts of ourselves that it is safe to - that’s when we can lean into the feelings and allow ourselves to feel them fully. And feeling our emotions allows them to begin to release.
Anxiety is an emotion that is alerting you and your body to danger.
Something either real or perceived has been detected as threatening or dangerous by your brain and this message was sent to your nervous system sending you into an anxious fight/flight response all outside of your consciousness. Your body is always working in service of survival for you! This is a good thing. Once you notice that you are feeling anxious, I’d encourage you to ground yourself (regulate your nervous system), acknowledge, validate, and feel those feelings safely, and only then move onto compassionately and curiously exploring what triggered this response and why. Approaching these feelings with compassionate curiosity will give you an opportunity to start recognizing when you need to lean in and listen more closely.
Do you need more support with caring for and managing this emotion? Take our workshop on grounding strategies or join us for our next workshop on Releasing Anxiety & Finding Your Calm! Details below.
Oh and before I forget … for those of you who may be wondering what I did with my own feelings of anxiety that were coming to the surface: I followed my own advice (above), with extra emphasis on the grounding - immersing myself in environments that settled my nervous system! And I leaned on extra support from various supports including friends, family, my own therapist, and various holistic health practitioners. Sometimes it takes a village mamas. I was very curious about why my anxiety was sky high and I did not want to continue having it impact me the way that it had been, because I recognized it as being unmanageable for me, which it hadn’t been in many many years. I am definitely still on this journey and working on my own personal growth right along with you. I practice what I preach & I love supporting other women who are on this journey alongside with me!